Gothic Lesson's

Lets start by the first question, What is Goth?

Simple answer, Goth is a sub-culture of Industial music which is a sub-culture of Metal which in its own in a sub-culture of 80's hair bands.. By this, goth must have started somewhere in the mid-1995's..

Now there has been alot of talk about goth coming in waves, but we all know that goth kids HATE the sun and long walks on the beach and even more-so, Waves are reserved for Ska and New Wave (or British Rock).. When refering to time periods of goth, you have to use their scale, or darkness-colors..

So, goth first started in the Dark-Black with Johnny Cash with his smash hit "Hurt" which was later re-mixed by Nine Inch Nails (Or the NIN) in the Blue-Black era (we'll get to that later)

Then Goth took off in popularity and entered the Black-Black with such great albums as Black by Metallica and BlackStreet by the BlackStreet Boys.. Lets not forget the Rythemic Sounds of Venessa Carlton. She totally gets those goth's swaying

Then Goth went into a slump or the Grey-Black. This period of time gave us some terrible goth music and fasions.. Fishnet shirts, Fat chicks in clothes made for babies, and The Cure.. But this was all saved by such artists in...

THE PINK-BLACK! Yes! Hot Topic came around and gave kids what they wanted! Clothes they can call bleek and Ideals that they could fuck to. It was so goth Frank Sinatra sang his hit goth song "It was a very good year" and Dream Theater made a song that lasted almost 22 minutes!!

This peeked at what is now the Blue-Black era. You have your bands such as Tool, NIN, Chingy, and John Mayers' pumping out new and sad songs to love bats too.

Now, how to spot a Gothkid or a "Gothy".. I'll keep this rather short since i'm pretty sure they don't want YOU looking at them since it takes away from their individuality or whatever sad world they were trying to hide in from people who smile...

A typical Gothy wears more vinal then a record store, has black hair always looking like they used too much glue in it to keep it down, like their life, and usually pierced up all over their face to prove dominence..

The guys usually look like girls, but you can tell they arn't girls cause they don't weight 300 pounds... And sometimes you'll find the skinny goth girls, but they are usually guys... Its a phenonanom all its own!

And thats it folks, Goth in a nutshell, or atleast, goth in a dark stairwell of moral angst filled with the blood of all the souls that shall be reeped by he who is darkness.. or some such like that..

April Fools! An HONEST lesson

Heres a lesson about April Fool's in a non-traditional way.. The Believed Truth!

Its start was believed to be in 1582 in France. Back then the new years was celebrated for 8 days, march 25 to april 1(the 1st being new years). Well, in that time there was a reform of the calendar under Charles IX, the Gregorian Calendar was introduced, and New Year's Day was moved to January 1. Since news traveled by foot many places didn't get this news for several years, some didn't get it at all, and some just refused to accept. Well, the general mass (people who switched) would "bully" around those who didn't switch by making their lives hard, sending them on "fools errands" and such. As time went by, these people were called April Fools (hence the name April Fools) and as time went on it evolved into just playing pranks on friends and family. To this day, pranks have been the rule of this day.

So thats it, April Fools and all its glory :)

Easter Lesson!

Easter started MILLIONS of years ago when Jesus first died. Everyone mourned their loss (he still owed them money) and finally after three days he arose.. "OMGWTF!", the leet shouted. One man tho was too awstruck by his own findings to realize this happening.. Yes, it was Moshin Rickenburg, the town loony. He was looking off into his own world and noticed a rabbit just sitting in the brush. Upon further inspection he spyed an egg under the rabbit.. "YES! That rabbit laid an egg!" He shouted jubiliently. Everyone then turned to see what he was shouting about, which gave Jesus enough time to high-tail it out of there, only to be dissapointed. They tried to explain that rabbits do not lay eggs, but Moshin would not have any of it, he knew what he saw with his own eyes. Soon everyone just laughed and laughed at him.. He wanted revenge! He devised a clever plan that would not only make everyone the fool, but help dentists out at the same time. He cooked up some chocolate and wrapped them up in white cloth and then hid the bits around the village... He then instructed the people to find rabbits and let them loose and follow them to where they would go. His plan was flawed because the rabbits clearly do not like chocolate, but to his suprise kids do. One kid started screaming when he saw a rabbit run away from him to "leave behind an egg of chocolate"... The people where in shock and amazment! Could Moshin be correct? Could this be the biggest thing since Jesus returning? Will Batman ever capture the Joker? The world may never know.....



Ok, so the people decided that Moshin was correct, but then burned him at the stake because he was apparently a witch.. They later found out that it was all just an elaborate scheme by him, but adopted it because it kept the kids busy... So once a year they hold a hunt in memory of Moshic... The term Easter is actually a derivitive of the words "Eat Sturdy Chocolater"

Laws of Murphy

So, here are some Murphy's Laws bastardized that i made a long while ago. Heres their new home :)

In essence of Murphy's Laws

Pharrit's Law of Machinery:
If all attempts to fix an object from malfunction fails, a swift kick should do the trick

Pharrit's Second Law of Research:
Any project can be proved with enough evidence proving the move obscure part of the research

Pharrit's Third Law of Research:
For every 50 page report, there is one statement to prove it false

Pharrit's Law of Internet Communication:
The size and boldness of the text is directly propotionate to how much it will be ignored

Pharrit's Comment of Klipstein's Law Applied to General Engineering 4:
(Original Law: Any wire cut to length will be too short)
If the wire is cut longer then specification, the project will change enough to make the wire needed to the exact length it has been cut

Pharrit's corollary to Swipple Rule of Order:
(Original Rule: He who shouts loudest has the floor.)
He who shouts the loudest has the floor but will lose his voice before his argument is over.

Pharrit's Observation of Research:
Only after you pass over what you are looking for is when you realize you need to look it up
Addendum: After passing what you are looking for you will not be able to find it again

Pharrit's Law of Workmanship:
The only task that is impossible is getting someone else to do the impossible for you

Pharrit's Law to Life applied to Tennis:
You can never win with just Love

Pharrit's Law of Laws:
All laws can be broken and will be broken

Pharrit's paradox of Laws:
The only law that cannot be broken is the Law of Laws

Addendem to a psudo-intelligence

Pharrit's Law of Test Taking:
Only Actors get away with cheating

Pharrit's Unwritten Law:

Pharrit's Law of Musical Theory, as related to guitars:
All Octives are on the twelve step program

Pharrit's Mindless ramblings:
You got that darn straight! BLAH BLAH BLAH!


Jason's Thoughts on Thoughting:
The more you think about something relative to the subject, the less you actually know of what you were thinking of

Jason's Law of Grammerizing a Sentence:
The more smarter the sentence sounding, the less likely people will argue the grammer wrong

Lastly,

Jason's Axiom of the Laws of Making Laws:
If you take away a right of someone, you just created a law
If you make up something that sounds like a law, you just created a law
If you change a law, you just created a law
If you break any of these laws, you are president

History of Ska

Its been awhile since "The History of Easter & April Fools", "The History of Goth Music", & "The History of Punk Music".. I feel your brains may be melting from inactivity so here is the newest lesson.. "The History of Ska"

Ska started out as nothing more then Reggae from back in the 1920's. Ska has been attributed to prohibiton due to guitarists getting the hiccups while playing causing ska-type riffs and ruining all the Jazz peoples fun.

Now, lets take a quick cliff-notes into Reggae to better understand where everything started.. Reggae was created by a man named Robert Marley. He felt that Jamaica was more then just bobsledding and booze-rumming and wanted to promote peace, love, and understanding to the rest of the world. It soon took off like a wildfire with such cover-bands as "The Wailers" & "Damien Marley".. Both bands sounded just like Robert and noone seemed to notice. Then sometime in the 20's Toots & Maytals' guitarist drank too much and started playing ska-riffs.. The next morning they formed the first ska band... The Specials! The rest was history..

Or so we thought. The Specials took the UK by storm, kicking such bands as the Sex Pistols in their bloody arses and turning hair-heads into the skin-heads we know today. This is where the term "Rude Boys" was coined from.. Originally ment to be an insult, but then turned into praise when Prince Buster, of Jamaica, decided to change gears man, just change gears..

The next big band to hit ska straight in the spine was The Madness. They dressed only in two colors at any one time which started the first record lable to accept Ska as a form of music, HellCat Records. This label soon after forming got Rancid and Ska was left without a home. This was a sad time and Ska wouldn't come back to the world for many years to come

During the time we know as the 1980's a group of upstarts formed an up-and-coming band from upper New York. They were the beginning of the Third Ska Revival. There was never a Second Revival, then again, there wasn't much of a first revival so whos to complain? Anyways, The Toasters brought with them up-ska-riffs, great songs, some bread, and of course, Ska! Durning this time, they helped form many of the ska bands we know and love today such as "Bim Skala Bim", "Aquabats", and "Hepcat" (who plays more Roots Reggae Ska, but thats another story) This was a plan called Operation: Ivy which almost was a complete wash for the Toasters, which they much dearly needed at the time. One day durning a meeting, a giant wave crashed on the northern Maine beach bearing "Fishbone" Fishbone was a UK band from Jamaica who played in the USA exclusivly. Closely behind them was another band "Reel Big Fish" who were actually known as "Me First and the Gimme Gimmes" but they got kicked out of their label for being selfish. The Last band to come crashing in was "The Slackers" whom decided that a fish type name wasn't their style, thus messing up the main point of this joke, but still helping to starts "Third Wave Ska"

Now-a-days Ska is played behind closed doors inside buildings as places where music is to be played. New and Newerish bands form everyday and instantly make it big due to Ska tiny tiny numbers. Some bands just seemingly form other bands just by proxy. New dancestyles also were being formed. In once incident in 1993 a man was listening to ska and bumped into a lady of the night, which in turn, she punched him in the stomach. He stumbled back kicking out his legs and jerking his arms around. He then hit another Women of questionable morals and she gave him a shove and he flailed foward. Back and form this man suffered, but passerbys stopped to watch the man. Suddenly, like typohiod, the movements caught on and everyone was doing it. The dance didn't get mainstream acclimation until in 1987 when the movie "Back to the beach" explained how to do it. Before this, most people just looked dumb and got beat up by punk kids in Pits. The dance name you might be asking? Well, It was originally called whorebumping, but then shorted to the more PC term, Skanking.

So there you have it, The history of Ska.